Relationship Chronicles: The Booty…

Okay I remember a time when we women used to ask a very tough question to men.  Men you know what am talking about. That dreaded question where one answer could either leave you an eunuch at the end of the night or really really happy. Okay I’ll tell you,”Does my ass look big in this dress?” Yes, I just saw the chills run down your spine.

Now times are changing, the bigger the booty the happier your woman is. It’s becoming the norm to get a little extra in the trunk with butt implants and injections or pills and potions. So the question really hasn’t changed and the answer is still a dangerous pitfall for men everywhere. But now as a man, you can tell you better half her ass is huge and she will love you not hit you.

If I just got you maimed or killed, am sorry don’t haunt me cause my body guard ghost, Troy the pit bull, will kick your ass.

Cici.

Hump Day.

Weird facts you don’t want to know but I’ll tell you anyway.

 

 

Advertisements

TV shows that give parents heart attacks…

So while binge eating and channel surfing one Friday, I found a show called, The Joys of Teen Sex.” I know, what the fudge, right? Of course, instantly I had an opinion on the show. For one I was hoping the title was a “psych title”. You know, drag teenage minds in with a catchy title and then hit them with the really gross details about the pitfalls of sex. Like, STD’s, teen pregnancy, depression in case of the babies arrival, morning afters, and finally, clingy people!! So, really a show to scare teens out of trying sex till they are like 50 and married!!

Okay, so I’ve not watched the show yet but of course I have to watch it. Am going to catch the next episode and will see my reaction after!

Hump Day…

Weird facts you don’t want to know but I’ll tell you anyway.

Kinks…

This is a weird topic but I had to bring it up, BDSM, primarily spanking. If you were raised in most parts of Africa this is the kink you will have most issues with. Reasons, we were beaten almost everyday for every conceived slight. Late for school? The teacher beats. Failed a class? The teacher beats you or depending on your parents, your patents too. So there is simply no way to associate pain and sexy fun.

Cici.

Hump Day…

Weird facts you don’t want to know but I’ll tell you anyway.

I object, do you?

Have you ever gone  to google to search the meaning of a word? What am I saying, of course you have. Anyway, objection number one on the list Urban Dictionary.  Simple things made icky. So I went to search the meaning of “La Cucaracha” cause I wanted to  use it in one of my articles and lets just say I lost my appetite and for me thats huge. I LOVE FOOD!

It is one of those sites that is weirdly disgusting but you cant stop reading.

PS Don’t go to urban dictionary if you are weak stomached.

Number two, LIZARDS! I know they do more good than harm but come on, they are icky! One went into my bathroom in November and I haven’t gone back in there yet. Right now there’s one in my room and I’ve been sleeping on my couch ever since.

Am spineless! Hanging my head in shame 😦

Any way its a new year so lets start with more love than Rants… Yeah Right!! :’D

Cici.

Hump Day…

Weird facts you don’t want to know but I’ll tell you anyway.

How you know you need therapy…

After years of friends and family telling me I need therapy, I might finally agree. Reasons why? My dreams are getting crazier and crazier.

If you start having dreams of going back to high school WILLINGLY and taking Physics again WILLINGLY!! You need therapy!

If you are having dreams about two of you exes in the same house and you in the middle of that drama, You need therapy!!

If you are having dreams where you are a Phoenix Queen, and there’s a big Bear after you, You need therapy!

So dear therapist, please bill the insurance company, they been stealing from me long enough…

Cici.

Hump Day…

Weird facts you don’t want to know but I’ll tell you anyway.

How dumb is your man?

So am starting a new segment called, “How dumb is your man?” Am just gonna post odd facts I hear or read on the internet, the radio, the guard at my apartment block, you know everywhere!! 😛 So lets begin…

Sometimes it’s good to listen to local news. Apparently, a survey conducted on Kenyan men and their use of contraceptives showed that 75% of them did NOT know how to use condoms. Most of the research findings are not suited for innocent minds like mine but I’ll still state them. 😛 It is so bad that sometimes they forget the condoms in you know… hint hint!! So my question is simple, how dumb is your man? Hope they ain’t in this 75% pile…

PS: Please do not shoot the messenger, these are not qualified facts, am just reporting!

Cici.

Hump Day…

Weird facts you don’t want to know but I’ll tell you anyway.

I love google…

PS_0747W_WATER_LIVER

Mr and Mrs Google Forever. The shit you can find on Google, so cool! This is going on a t-shirt as soon as possible…

Cici.

Hump Day…

Weird facts you don’t want to know but I’ll tell you anyway.