“Am at war.”
The words in my head say I am wrong,
The etchings on my heart says this is true,
I have hands holding me down,
I never break free of the binds they hold,
I whisper but scream Help! To anyone and everyone,
Am unseen in a cell crafted by unbendable steel,
My cries echo in this chamber,
Coming back as smug laughter,
I struggle and whimper as the binds start cutting into me,
I feel a wetness, on my arms, legs and body,
I cannot see it but I know its blood,
Am bleeding on this floor,
This floor am trapped on,
Full of despair, disdain, and denial,
I want to blame someone for my pain,
For my self-loathing,
But the answer has always been clear,
The demon standing in my way,
That wall I can’t seem to climb,
That taunting voice I despise,
I am the War against me.
(image: Chris Rahn)
When your soul is split in two only pain will reign.
I think I cracked something the other day as I tried to smile,
The weakness in me that I stored behind a wall started seeping through,
I don’t know how the world would view all that is within me,
I don’t even like to look it in the eye cause of what I see,
The monster looking back is never what you think,
It’s covered in a smile with words that bleed,
It’s dressed in vibrant colors even as it eyes darken your thoughts,
It says it’s what I deserve after everything,
It’s what I look and see every day in the mirror.
At times the monster within wins…
A week or so ago Madonna made her way to the land of beauty – Yeah, am still a little sensitive to being ranked the ugliest people in Africa – and wild beasts. Kenya the small country with a boatload of problems. She came on her humanitarian mission to raise awareness of charities and landed with the help of our beautiful First Lady Margret Kenyatta. The two went around the slum areas feeding the poor, cleaning up the sewage and you know all that goody stuff that make you look like mother Teresa. This, however, is not a post about the good they have done or disregarding the good things they did for that community but rather this one simple tweet…
So this isn’t the actual one that I wanted to post but its pretty close since I couldn’t find the original. Any who, I don’t know if they were trying to imply we drink sewage water or what? But it could have been phrased better. Like I don’t know, don’t suggest that this is where we get our drinking water from. I get that our slum areas are not what you find in the states but its not like the colonies were here to better us, so we are a little behind. All am saying is we have tap water and we waste water in showers just like the rest of you.
If you are going to make a vague statement, do what I do and say this is just your stupid opinion and not something that has been researched and accepted. For what its worth some of the richest people in Kenya made their start in Kibera and some actually still live there. Kibera is separated into two the extremely wealthy, like say a former president’s apartment complex and the extremely poor, who are the people mostly exploited to show how we still leave in hovels.
Well, I feel relieved after getting that off my chest.
Happy Purple Monday. 😀
You just know something ticked me off and I have to share…
‘Cause I’ve had my heart
And I promised I would never let me hurt anymore
But I tore down my walls
And opened my doors
And made room for one
So, baby, I’m yours
Happiness can be attained after hurt.
You hit me once
I hit you back
You gave a kick
I gave a slap
You smashed a plate
Over my head
Then I set fire to our bed
“Kiss with a fist”
Florence + The Machine
How you gon’ ask me bout your hair, girl, when I bought it?
Little Mix ft Sean Paul
Hair extension jokes now? Rude! Hilariously rude!
As almost anyone whose fore fathers were colonized I have a problem with the 13 colonies but since I can’t really do anything other than mouth off, Happy Independence Day America! 😛