War…

chris rhan

“Am at war.”
The words in my head say I am wrong,
The etchings on my heart says this is true,
I have hands holding me down,
I never break free of the binds they hold,
I whisper but scream Help! To anyone and everyone,
However,
Am unseen in a cell crafted by unbendable steel,
My cries echo in this chamber,
Coming back as smug laughter,
I struggle and whimper as the binds start cutting into me,
I feel a wetness, on my arms, legs and body,
I cannot see it but I know its blood,
Am bleeding on this floor,
This floor am trapped on,
Full of despair, disdain, and denial,
I want to blame someone for my pain,
For my self-loathing,
But the answer has always been clear,
The demon standing in my way,
That wall I can’t seem to climb,
That taunting voice I despise,
I am the War against me.

FotorCreated

(image: Chris Rahn)

Hump Day…

When your soul is split in two only pain will reign.

Monster…

6ef398f0656b896d931e446dbf27e1d3


Monster…

I think I cracked something the other day as I tried to smile,

The weakness in me that I stored behind a wall started seeping through,

I don’t know how the world would view all that is within me,

I don’t even like to look it in the eye cause of what I see,

The monster looking back is never what you think,

It’s covered in a smile with words that bleed,

It’s dressed in vibrant colors even as it eyes darken your thoughts,

It says it’s what I deserve after everything,

It’s what I look and see every day in the mirror.

FotorCreated

Hump Day.

At times the monster within wins…

Cici Fact -The One

raef-you-are-the-one-from-the-pa

‘Cause I’ve had my heart
Broken before
And I promised I would never let me hurt anymore
But I tore down my walls
And opened my doors
And made room for one
So, baby, I’m yours

Alessia Cara

  “I’m Yours.”


FotorCreated

Cici Fact

Happiness can  be attained after hurt.

Cici Fact – Love me stupid

love-weapons-art-poster-print-24x36-unframed-gun-buck-knife-beretta-grenade-ak47-0820a78485f098377aaf7f15303a61a2

You hit me once

I hit you back

You gave a kick

I gave a slap

You smashed a plate

Over my head

Then I set fire to our bed

“Kiss with a fist”

Florence + The Machine


FotorCreated

Cici Fact

Ahh love….

Letter to Pain…

fantasy_fire_bird_phoenix_wallpaper_hd_15-724x407

If you could see me now,

You wouldn’t believe all that you did to me,

You would see I outgrew your deceit,

You would think all you did  was a mirage,

A figment of a past life,

 

Would you say the same things you said then,

Would you take back your words if you knew?

That all they did was tear down the walls,

The blocks that had to removed,

For my rebirth started at you departure,

 

Am whole now,

A better version of me,

More than you thought,

More than I believed,

A letter to you is more than you deserve…

FotorCreated

Hump Day

Trying to feel empowered… (song: Hailee Steinfeld – Love Myself)

 

Banana…

00356ac121d5416c9738ca0867d8d172.jpg

A banana is a fruit. A yellow fruit. Also a cartoon character in “Bananas in Pajamas”. It has potassium which is good for your hair. I had a banana for breakfast… Okay, yeah I have nothing to blog about today and I missed two blogging days, WTF Cici’s brain. Get inspired!!!

Anyway, hope y’all had a nice Easter and are happy to get back to work, school, kids, couch potatoing, you know, regular day stuff.

Have a great week ahead!
Much love,

Cici.

Bonus Tuesday.

I have nothing to say…